Drop Everything and Pray

God has an amazing way of using us when we least expect it.  I was used as his instrument yesterday and it was incredibly humbling, a very gentle reminder to never stop praying, hoping and expecting miracles.

It has been easy for me to get trapped in the cycle of work here, teaching day in and day out, allowing myself to become tired, rather than fully relying on God's strength.  Someone asked me the other day if we ever get to share the Gospel.  Not explicitly I told him, as in church settings, just in our daily activity and interactions with people.  However, this doesn't always turn out the way that we want it to and our best intentions can be stymied by frustration, mistakes and the almighty "schedule".

Yesterday I had a break between classes at Cite Soleil and I went to the nurses office where Stacey works. It is such a joy to be with the tiniest students, the pre-kindergarten kids here.  They always seem to be lined up at her door.  There were only 2 students however and I went and sat with one, dressed smartly in his blue checked shirt and matching shorts.  He had no idea how cute he was.

They sit so quietly and unassuming, you would never guess what is wrong.  I asked Stacey what was wrong and she told me that he had adventitious sounds in his lungs, a new word for me, but to describe it, the sound is like crackling and popping noises, a surefire sign of infection.  I did not listen, but apparently the noises were all over his lungs and had been since 2 weeks ago when she first checked him.  Despite her recommendations, his parents had not visited the doctor with him, further fuelling Stacey's frustration.

I prayed.  Quietly, and under my breath, holding his tiny torso between my much larger hands.  Other Haitians were sitting very close but they took no notice of me and the boy.  Stacey also was preoccupied.  I suppose I could've rallied the troops for prayer, but I felt this was how the Lord wanted me to pray.  As I touched his back and chest, I never did feel the irregular respirations happening inside him and perhaps even just at that moment he was healed.  I do not remember what I prayed exactly but it was straight from my heart and I knew I truly believed for healing.

I asked Stacey for the stethoscope.  I let Dorsaint, the little boy, play with the stethoscope first before listening to his chest.  As I had not listened before I prayed, I was not sure what to listen for.  As I played doctor, even in my ignorance I was pretty sure I heard nothing.  I asked Stacey to listen, she's the nurse after all.  She checked him out calmly and discovered nothing.  You prayed for him didn't you? she asked.  Ya I did, I replied smiling.

Just 20 minutes ago, Stacey was very worried for the kind of care this little boy would receive when she left him again until the following week.  Her eyes were welling up and I could see that she had witnessed a miracle, and could fully release her worries because of the work God's healing power had done.  She reiterated to me how terrible his breathing sounded.  Furthermore, she asked me if I had been imitating his breathing while I sat with him (while unbeknownst to her I was praying) because she said she heard loud gasps, which I did not hear, though I was holding Dorsaint close.  The illness literally escaped his body as I touched him and prayed.

There are no words to describe miracles and even now I am dumbfounded how He uses His people to make these things happen.  The recipe this day, was immediate obedience, to address a need prayerfully, with very little background knowledge, even less medical experience and a mustard seed of faith.  I was reminded as I prayed just how much God loved Dorsaint and that if I did not pray I was denying him the love that surely Christ would've given him.

A verse I have meditated on this week reads "I will sing a new song unto you, O God; upon a ten-stringed harp I will play to you."  (Ps. 144:9)  I don't have a harp, but I have a new song in my heart, its playing very loudly, often without words, but with obedience, sheer joy and newfound hope.  "Great is the Lord and greatly to be praised; His greatness is unsearchable." (Ps. 145:3)

The Difference in a Life

After living in Haiti for 2 ½ months now, Jeremy and I have recognized that the Haitian people do not need handouts - this is only a hinderance, and something that some have come to rely on.  Haiti needs opportunity.  The Haitian people need jobs in order to work for themselves, to provide for their own families, to instill pride in themselves.  In Haiti, jobs are very limited.  There is a 70% unemployment rate, and it isn’t because the people don’t want to work.  The jobs that are available are for those who are educated, which also means having fluency in French and English.  The people who do not have education try to sell anything that they can to make a living … fruit, vegetables, pop, gum, shoes, purses, combs, anything.

The school in which we live and work - Terre Noire - educates approximately 580 students; Cite Soleil has about 330 students; and Ibo beach about 220.  In Haiti, there is not public schooling, so the children have to pay to go to school.  At the HOM schools, the children receive a multivitamin, one hot meal, textbooks, school supplies, educated teachers, instruction in French (as well as English class), medical, and a uniform with shoes.  Although the parents are unable to afford the $360.00 a year to send their child to school, the school requests that they pay something (whatever they can afford, which isn’t much), then the rest comes from sponsorship.  Currently there are 71 students that are receiving education but do not have sponsors.  The schools do not turn down the children, they merely have faith the funds will be provided.

There are many children in Haiti that do not attend school for the simple fact that parents cannot afford it, and for those children the future is dark.  Without education, the chance of getting the limited availability of jobs is next to none.  Education is truly paving the way for these children and giving hope for their futures. 

Many people who sponsor a child will follow their child all through school (age 3 to grade 12, and sometimes college.  As long as the child does not take a year off school, they are sponsored to go through college as well).  But this is up t o the sponsor.  You can even come down and meet your child at school!

With the Christmas season approaching, I encourage you to carefully consider if $30.00 a month is something you can afford to make a difference in the future of a child.

To find out more information, visit the Haiti Outreach Ministries website at: www.haitioutreachministries.org/.

Happy Birthday Jean Gaudy Estor

Yesterday it was Jean Gaudy’s birthday.  Jean Gaudy (pronounced Goody) is my best friend here in Haiti.  He is a good man.  He is a man that loves God.  From the moment I saw him I knew that there was something extremely special about this man, something that looked so humble and gentle and it drew me in.  I couldn’t wait to be his friend.  He had just been hired at HOM, and as I admired his quiet demeanor, someone expressed annoyance that Jean Gaudy had been hired without being consulted about it.  I am not involved in the hiring that takes place here but I was offended at this remark.  From what I observed, they just made a once in a lifetime hire, the best man that I had never even met yet.

Jean Gaudy is educated.  He has a degree in Sociology.  He speaks four languages and that includes his intermediate English, which I am helping him out with.  Jean Gaudy has never had a job that was permanent, nor did he ever land a job in his field, much like many educated Haitians in this country, a perpetual problem.  When he was hired by HOM, I can guarantee it wasn’t for a lot of money, certainly not what he would be worth, if we are forced to measure the human spirit in monetary terms.  Jean Gaudy came to work a month early.  He came to work on his English so that he could do a better job serving here.  He came even though he wouldn’t be paid until his official start date a month later. 

When Jean Gaudy celebrated his 36^th birthday, he wore a homemade party hat with an array of balloon drawings.  Too bad we didn’t have real balloons.  He read a homemade card that was signed by various people that live and work here.  He picked it up and read it again.  And again.  I asked him if he understand what everyone had written.  He nodded.  Every word.  Perhaps that’s why he couldn’t stop reading it.

I do not celebrate birthdays well, either for myself or others.  Perhaps this is a personality flaw though my wife would never let me hide behind that poor excuse.  Celebrating Jean Gaudy’s birthday was of great importance for me though (and Stacey).  To celebrate his birthday meant to acknowledge him as a person, express appreciation for his friendship, honor the man that he is.  It didn’t matter if it was his birthday or not, it needed to be said!  Because truthfully, it probably rarely if has.  

As transparently as I can encourage people at home, without feeling silly or strange, in Haiti, this is a foreign practice among people.  When presented with the card that read Happy Birthday Jean Gaudy Estor and the words inset We Love You, his roommate on the compound, another Haitian man didn’t want to sign it.  What would I say to him, is what he said.  I was saddened, but not all to surprised.  Forget birthdays going unnoticed, think about your life going disregarded for long stretches, maybe your whole existence.  What I have noticed in Haiti is a failure for the common man to communicate love to his neighbor, and yes I know we can observe this at home but we still know it happens.  What if you never even saw “good friends” practice it? 

In Haiti I have observed people in great physical need, but the spiritual needs are much greater.  If people do not start loving each other with the love of God that so, so many of them are aware of, this country will never change.  Many people lose loved ones all the time and life has ceased to hold value.  Many die without knowing that they were loved, and if the love of God is not expressed through God’s people, even the love that we inherently know God bestows on us, can be forgotten.  

There’s multiple layers to this cultural problem and I am not doing it justice in a couple paragraphs.  I hope you can begin to see what I am addressing and I hope to expand more, at least in my own writing, so that I can examine my own heart and what this means for me as a Canadian living in Haiti and how it will affect what I do about it, in what little or big ways I can.  I believe we were at a birthday party though. 

Next week we’re going to a soccer game, so we drew a ticket on the back of Jean Gaudy’s birthday card.  Today he learned what the word REDEEM meant.  What do you buy for someone who has so little and expected nothing to begin with?  This is a truly humbling conundrum to encounter and you feel stupid trying to think of anything that would even remotely suffice.  A ticket to a soccer game is a good gift for a Haitian, but the truth is that the best present was what was written inside that card, the message that was read several times before the night’s end, and will hopefully resound deep within him for his truly special life.  Happy Birthday Jean Gaudy Estor.  We Love You.

the Day of the Dead

Sitting on the roof of our compound, we can hear that the festivities of the evening (and that of the upcoming 2 days) are well underway.  Around the community is the sound of commotion and "pop pop", and my first thought is gunfire.  A Haitian friend also gets up a couple times to look nervously out over the community, then finally realizes that this is the sound of firecrackers, a sound that is not as familiar as the first.  November 1st and 2nd is the celebration of the 'Day of the Dead'.  On these days Voodoo believers go to cemeteries to pray to dead spirits with candles, food and alcohol, followed by dancing all night in Voodoo temples.

Since coming to Haiti, we have heard a number of stories involving the Voodoo belief; and even those who don't practice believe strongly in the "results" of Voodoo.  It is common to hear claims of family members being cursed, then dying.  People who don't practice will even go to Voodoo priests to have curses reversed.  Twins are dangerous in Haiti as they only have to link fingers together and are then able to curse another person; thus, (it was told to me that) people try to kill off one of the twins to remove that personal power.
We have heard accounts from friends who have seen Voodoo priests change into animals, then back into people.  There have been a couple different individuals who describe the gang members as having a protective curse over them, where bullets are unable to pierce their skin; for the this reason the gangs were able to take over Cite Soleil in 2004.  (The police were unable to shoot and kill the gang members. Apparent witnesses claim that bullets bounce off the bodies of these gang members; therefore any time someone tries to take out a gang member, the gang will turn around unharmed and come after that individual).

Even though Haiti is predominately Christian, Voodoo goes hand in hand with the Catholic religion.  Jeremy asked a friend jokingly if a Christian pastor did Voodoo at home, and his response was, "I don't know what he does at home."  Voodoo is just so prevalent here…. it is part of the majority of Haitian's worldview, and is engrained into their culture.

Day 67

Today is day #67 of our journey - starting with our time in Haiti.  Over the time we’ve been here our sense have come to adapt to the way of life here.

Sound - The first night I refused to wear earplugs as I did not want to sleep through our alarm (signaling breakfast for the next morning, which, coming from our scheduled Canadian life I assumed was only at one time and all must attend at 6:00).  That night was the loudest night I have ever witnessed in all my life.  The city that truly does not sleep….between the dogfights, roosters, horns and people, it was a sleepless night for me as well.  After that I thought, if there was one thing you could bring to Haiti, it would be earplugs… something I vowed to never sleep without.  Within a couple weeks I was sleeping without them.

Living at a school, and on the same grounds as a church brings with themselves noise as well.  From the children at 6:15am to the choir practices and prayer meetings at 10pm, there is noise.  When we leave the compound we are braced with the constant honking from every vehicle on the road.  The time when true peace comes is with the rain, causing the city to quiet.

Smell - The smells of  Haiti are something else… from the smoke and fumes of the burning garbage, to the exhaust coming from the vehicles past their time of expiry, and the rotting garbage in the stagnant water.  The first time we passed the garbage filled brown river of Cite Soleil I had to hold my breathe due to the stench.  Now I hardly notice the smell, if at all.  Our first hour long outing through the city left me grumpy because of all the fumes I had to breath in.  The last trip we went on I don’t recall the exhaust.  (Which is not the best sense to lose as my brain cells are dying with every breath!).

Sight - On first arrival to our new home, I could not look past the garbage, and the pigs, goats, dogs, roosters, cows...they are everywhere.  Now these things are are common as seeing a tree back home.  The guarding guns of the UN stand at large intersections, and innocence of nudity is present; yet we have grown accustomed to these as well.

Taste - As you all know we are very much used to our routine of eating rice and beans for lunch and supper (although frequently I rebel against lunch).  The first couple weeks, in our ignorance we would ask, “What’s for supper?”  I think it only took a couple weeks to realize…

When we are presented with a new food… usually not really a “food” but something else to eat, we cannot help ourselves but gorge.  It as though we are in survivor mode, and every chocolate could be our last!  We need to get rid of this mentality before Christmas if we want to keep our same wardrobe…

Touch - I have grown accustomed to the small hand of a child grabbing my hand or stroking my hair as I walk by; this is something I know I will miss dearly when we leave.  It makes me sad to think that this will be gone….

Things I might like to do back at home in December...

1) Download a video and watch it simultaneously without interruption.  

2) Wash some clothes in a washing machine. 

3) Go to a store and receive correct change.

4) Take a hot shower (probably because it'll be cold!) 

5) Eat some snow, why not?

6) Drive past the amazing Christmas light display on 97 street and 144 avenue. 

7) Stay up til 3 or 4 playing cards, who's up for it?!

8) Go to a movie.  

9) Drive a car!

10) Think about eating at Arby's, but then deciding against it.

Things I'll leave behind in Haiti...

1) A legion of children who call me Teacher Jeremy.  The name still cracks me up, especially when said with a Haitian accent.

2) A cell phone that's better than my model back home, weird.

3) LIzards in my room.  Some spiders.  A few ants when there's food out.  No more bed bugs though.

4) Beautiful consistent sunrises and the ease of waking up to its warm glow. 

5) The habit of correcting people's broken English.  Unless you want me to critique you :)

6) Bad internet, that forces me to read and look introspectively into myself and my surroundings.

7) Dogs, roosters, bumpy roads, tap-taps, air pollution, palm trees, mountain views, one room abode

8) Meals with our ever changing community of people.  Met some lovely Americans down here!

9) More than I have missed back home so far, no offense, you know what I mean. 

10) My best buddy here, Jean Gaudy.  I must bring him to visit some day, you would love him too.  When someone laughs his guts out because he just spelled the words ART, RAT and TAR with only 3 Scrabble word tiles, you know you've met a gem.  

A quote I read today.  Maybe it fits, maybe not, but I like it.  

Spirituality is about seeing.  It's not about earning or achieving.  It's about relationship rather than results or requirements.  Once you see, the rest follows.  You don't need to push the river, because you are in it.  The life is lived within us, and we learn how to say yes to that life. 

-from Everything Belongs by Richard Rohr

I'll post this when the power comes on...

As some of you are aware, things don’t always run smoothly down here.  Well, smoothly in terms of the modern conveniences of home that never seem to malfunction for more than a couple hours, maybe a year at a time.  Our ritualistic power outages are an annoyance but I daresay too that we are getting used to them, although we do miss chatting with our family on Skype!  

And bugs aren’t supposed to live in such close proximity to humans all the time are they?  I’ve been to countries with much bigger, deadlier and menacing looking bugs, whereas the ones here are small and ever present wherever there’s a grain of sugar or a tasty leg.  The bedbugs really grossed Stacey out, and then for some reason there were ants in her sheets last night.  No reason, just because I suppose.  Why look at that, even now I am witnessing an ant carry another dead friend up the wall.  What compassionate little creatures.  

Its easy to think of Paul and what he endured, but we’re not even in the same league.  I actually just read about the amount of times he was whipped, stoned, beaten, jailed, shipwrecked, cursed, mocked and who knows what else because of what he tried to do and advance the Gospel. I am not discounting the encouragement we certainly can glean from his life (which many friends have also pointed out as well, thank you!), but I feel that our position is much safer than Paul’s, though God certainly is challenging us in different ways.  I am learning to appreciate these curveballs, they really do make life more interesting.  Nothing at home is that tough to deal with, well the weather maybe!  

There are so many things out of our control down here, yet they are in God’s control and He is merely observing how we will deal with it.  I’m still not sleeping well, but I have found that this is God’s way of gently asking me: “Will you still get up and spend time with me at dawn?”  Our room has more visitors than we invited sometimes and we bristle when God prompts: “Would you really let bugs ruin your whole mission experience?  Maybe even prohibit you from ever going somewhere else?”  

I do not speak for Stacey fresh after a particularly buggy night (and who can blame the poor girl!) but most of our problems so far are petty in light of the big picture.  What I relish is persevering to hear God’s voice, which yes, is hard when you are uncomfortable and grouchy but do I hear it any better in a modern society?  Our preferential treatment as first world citizens cancels out a world of difficulties that we would candidly say “no thank you” too, much less embrace them as a growing experience.  

All this to say, I’m not tooting my own horn and exclaiming “ra-ra look at me living in squalor and eating gruel” because as I mentioned it is not that bad.  Cultural differences are much harder than the ants and the spotty electricity anyways.  For Stacey and I though, because I can only speak for ourselves (Can I Stacey?) this is a valuable and wild experience.  We were obviously not seeking a cakewalk, nor did God desire to set us up for a disaster such as that either.  If He had to isolate us far away from our country, our family, our friends and our washing machine so we would sit and quietly listen to Him, then the cost cannot be counted.  As we listen, things will become clearer, even if at times we have to see them in the dark :)

Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving weekend lies heavy in our hearts: the familiar traditions of Thanksgiving dinner with family and friends, followed by pumpkin pie, a chilly evening, and falling yellow leaves....only now a longing memory.
Although the festivities are not present where we are,  I look around and feel an undeniable sense of thankfulness.  While not everyone agrees, Canada has a good government - free from corruption (in the scheme of things), and one that attempts to do good for the country; there is not fear of government killings.  We pay taxes, though with much complaint, they offer us free healthcare, free schooling, paved roads, garbage disposal, and proper sewage....thank God for taxes, truly!
I know this is not true for all Canadians, but I am thankful that I grew up having 3 meals a day, with desert and snacks in between.  I have never had to know the feeling of hunger pains, as some of the children here know all too well.  I grew up in a loving family, free from abuse; while domestic violence runs high here and throughout the world.   The closest I've come to infection and disease is the flu and chickenpox..... while I am frequently treating scabies, ringworm, and other bacterial and fungal infections.
I am grateful that as a child I did have to hide while gangs shoot in the streets "for pleasure"; that I don't fear of being "cursed" by Voodoo practices; that people have opportunity for employment; that my parents took the time to take me to the Dr; that I didn't have to walk in streets, sometimes bare foot, containing animal feces and garbage; that I did not have to search out clean drinking water; that I grew up with my own bedroom with a bed; that the only time power would go out was during a storm or when a fuse blew......
There are so many luxuries that I have grown accustomed to, while the majority of the world goes without them.  I am so thankful that I was born in Canada, as only God has this control.  We, as Canadians, are truly blessed.

Uncomfortable Comfort

Stacey and I have been trying to rise very early in the morning and spend devotional time while the sun is just rising.  Stacey also stretches and works out, I'm not that spiritual though.  I have been able to journal for almost 2 months now, a personal record!  That's my excuse for not blogging enough.  Instead of creating an entirely new blog, I just thought I'd share some thoughts from a few days ago, amidst one of my most sleepless stretches in memory.

1 Thessalonians 1:2-10 (bits and pieces) "For we know, brothers loved by God, that He has chosen you, because our Gospel came to you not simply with words, but also with power, with the Holy Spirit and deep conviction.  You know how he lived among you for your sake."

This passage was really encouraging to me, especially after another sleepless night, full of questions, wonderings, noise and itchiness.  We're here in Haiti, but why are we here?  Feeling tired of beans and rice (or rice and beans), loud music at inopportune times, sometimes the people we work with that don't share our Canadian way of doing things.  And bugs.  The initial settling in process is over and the fairytale of short-term missions leaves after 6 weeks I'd say.  Its no longer a carefree, sometimes cushy environment.  Sometimes it feels downright uncomfortable!

For myself, I've always testified that I can make it through one sleepless night, as long as I have a chance to make it up the next.  And to my knowledge, I think this has always happened, just like I plan.  Well, its been a flat-out tough stretch for me in regards to sleep, much more than just 1 bad night at a time.  It makes me question WHY a lot more when these problems arise.  Why would we leave modern appliances or grocery stores?  Or sleep on two twin beds, neither of which we are the first to slumber in? Why are you allowed to make noise all night long and keep me awake?

I could go on and probably sound very ungrateful and confused as to what we're really doing while serving here.  But the truth is I'm happy, even in the midst of this sudden bout of insomnia.  God has miraculously given my soul and body complete rest, even though I swear I didn't sleep a wink a few nights.  I've had the energy to teach all day.  I don't need to sneak in a nap.  I can't go to bed because I'd rather read.

I would be miserable if I was home right now.  Not only because that would mean I forsook a great opportunity to go and serve abroad but it would've been a blatant disregard of the Holy Spirit's prompting in our lives, something we've tried to listen closely to in terms of missions.  If we hadn't have left I'm sure we would have paid dearly for it.  I'm fully understanding that God opens up opportunities and its our choice whether we take Him up on the offer.

It appears that some will give up a lot and some will give up a little, but when God gives you a choice and you obey, you've given all that He has asked of you.  Somedays, it feels like it's been a real sacrifice, but its just what we've been created to do.  We've been equipped to handle all that we've encountered and it gives us great hope to continue the good week we've started.  We're right where God called us to be, a place He mapped out for us long, long ago, and because He's called us, its extremely comforting, despite what we may deem from time to time as uncomfortable.

More Haiti "Facts" - Our Observations of the Quirkiness

Before we provided some factual information about Haiti to all of you and I am sure that we could add to that list, as many of you are wondering what it would be like to just see for a day what we see.  Here's some peculiar and maybe bizarre occurrences that we tend to observe on a daily basis.  Some are funny and some just cause us to shake our heads...

1) It is ALWAYS noisy here.  The kids start arriving at 6:30 and they are very active and loud.  At least the Pre-Kindergarten kids have stopped crying when they get dropped off.  Classrooms are noisy and there are no window panes so the sounds of 15 classrooms hums together in a great symphony of chatter and song.

Church services and choir practices commence as early as 6am and end as late as 12pm.  The sound systems here would have a better chance of deafening the listener than enhancing their listening experience but they like it to be LOUD!  During dinner time once in a while, you have to raise your voice substantially to have a conversation across the table.

I kid you not, someone at the church next door was performing a microphone check at 3:15 in the morning.  Ugh.

2) Roosters crow from 12am to 6am, usually about the same time as dogs start barking and terrorizing each other.  Often, we'll hear one dog yelping like it was being attacked, which sets off the other animals for hours on end.  Thank goodness for earplugs, fans and familiarity.

3) Creole does not include a lot of 'r' or 'l' words.  When most people try to pronounce these consonants it sounds like an 'r' is an 'l' or 'w'.  This makes word pronunciation very challenging!  The one that bugs me the most is "four" - "fwa".  But we're working on it :)

4) Adjectives are scarce.  Synonyms are even more so non-existent.  There is usually 1 word for an object or action and that's it!  Wash means mop, clean, sweep, scrub...

5) Everyone has a cell phone but all the service is pay-as-you-go.  They are constantly talking and it doesn't seem they ever have enough minutes, always running out and having to buy more.

6) Girls like guys who speak French.  This is a very desirable quality for a man to possess, because it means you are educated.

7) If there is an open road, a Haitian will drive as fast as mechanically possible.  We travelled the one nice highway here in the back of a tap-tap and you would've thought our driver had been given a Ferrari for the day.  We haven't driven with him since, and we're ok with that.

8) Roads are all 2 way.  There are 2, 3 or 4 lanes, based on driver's discretion, with no formal yellow markings.  Motorcycles slip through tiny cracks between opposing vehicles, so that actually makes 5 lanes.

9) If little kids don't speak a lick of English, they all can shout "Hey you!"  You = white person

There is no 10th fact, that would be too conventional :)

The Growing Stage

     Today marked the first day - of many days to come - of getting up at 5:00 to work out with Nadege.  We went to the roof, where the sun was not yet up, but rising, and the rays coming over the mountain were amazing...the view was miraculous, and the cool morning breeze made everything perfect.  This in itself will be motivation alone to get up.  To see God's creation, so beautiful, made me feel such a connection with God.
     It has been a month (and half a week) since we first arrived here in Haiti, and the time here has challenged me in many ways already.

      I have been challenged in the nursing realm: to critically think through symptoms and decide on the potential illness - one that we don't have at home.  ( Some of the symptoms are the same as home, all the illnesses are different).
     I have been training a Haitian nurse to take over the school nursing position, which is ironic considering this is the first time I've worked this position as well.  Working with Jesula, the nurse, has challenged me to be open to a different nursing opinion than my own, adjust to the laid-back culture, and be very patient.
     Nursing has revealed assumptions I have made, that have been wrong.  I have seen some terrible things when the children come to me.  Worms in one child's foot cutting of the circulation and having the potential to take his foot from him if the problem persisted.  This was a rough day for me.  I instantly became mad with the parents, and could not imagine how the parents could allow this boy's foot to become so bad.  I still don't know.  I sent home the medication needed to help heal the foot, and prayed that they would follow the instructions I laid out, but knew if they didn't his foot could be far worse the next time I saw him.  I would be lying if I said I was not surprised when the next time I saw him his foot had begun to heal.
     This is where the assumptions come.  I believed the parents did not care enough to take care of this boy; but, given the right resources they were able to look after him.  He is still recovering, but he is recovering.  After remarking on the lack of care the parents had, I learned that many Haitian parents work all day to provide food for their family.  A day without work to go to the clinic for help would mean a day without pay.  I am torn, and still working through my feelings on the justification of this, but it is still a reason.  I am learning to understand the way a culture living in poverty works.

     I have been challenged in the spiritual realm: to set time for God, and time for my devotions.  Through this time I have already seen a growth in my connection with God, and my understanding of His word.  I have felt more of a peace regarding the unknown future (I mean years from now)... but i believe God has also been giving Jeremy and I dreams for the future in a country we have not yet been.  We will see what is to come.
     These dreams have been exciting, but also tough as I think of the time away from my family.  But I know that God knows my heart, and when I follow his will for our lives, then He will provide a means to connect with family.

     This hasn't been a challenge, but Jeremy and I have grown in our marriage in the short time we have been here.  Living in a different culture, following the call on our life, dreaming of the future, has all helped the strengthen the bond we already have.

      In all, I do not believe that Jeremy and I are called to Haiti for a long-term duration - although know one really knows the future.....  But I do believe that we are hear to grow in many ways, and prepare ourselves for the future to come.

So what now...?

Alright, alright it's a loaded question and in some ways probably premature, right?  Is it really though?  The time here has been more encouraging than eye-opening I could say.  Our eyes have been opened before, that's why we're here now.  The encouragement from our friends here, family and friends back home and the smiling kids who encourage you simply by giving ALL their time to you has made it very worthwhile.  Too worthwhile?  A life-changing, life-shaping worthwhile?  There's a lot going on in our thoughts.  This passage in Isaiah is profound for me right now and consequently has landed in my devotional at precisely the right time:

If you offer your food to the hungry
    and satisfy the needs of the afflicted,
then your light shall rise in the darkness
    and your gloom be like the noonday.
The Lord will guide you continually,
    and satisfy your needs in parched places,
    and make your bones strong;
and you shall be like a watered garden,
    like a spring of water,
    whose waters never fail (Isa. 58:10-11)

Truly, I hope that God can give us wild dreams beyond our comfort and scope of thinking and challenge us to then go and accomplish it, no matter what.  I can feel God's provision for us and it gives great hope for the future, especially when wondering about all the what-ifs that would love to steal my time.  At the same time, I don't wish to say too much or too little.  God is working in us every day, for now and for the future.  I'm pretty sure He's telling us to reference any queries we have to Isaiah 58 for today and that in itself will be enough to face tomorrow.

We're still here!

Sometimes its hard to find the time to write a blog, or just motivate yourself to do so.  However, if I found time to study the NFL scoresheets today, I suppose I should finally sit down and write again!

Life is great here and we just completed our first full week of school.  A lot of students are still missing as we have been told they trickle back from holidays, so in another week we should be at full capacity.  So far I have found I still am quite terrified of grade 2s and it has been a real treat to work with grade 6s.  They are so grown up!

The adult classes keep me on my toes as well, these Haitians are really hungry for knowledge and all of them are extremely motivated to learn English.  I have realized that there's a lot more than I remember when it comes to grammar and the specifics of writing.  I'm so used to simply writing and processing simultaneously if the words make sense or not.  For people that don't understand the language though, making sense of even beginning English is a stretch.  I don't know how far I will stretch their experience with my native tongue, but we are certainly enjoying ourselves and they call me "teacher".  I don't think that will lead me to develop a Messiah complex, but I do carry the title with much responsibility.  Did I mention I am making my own curriculum too??

So besides working out grammar with the adults, simple sentences with the higher grades and Head and Shoulders with the little kids, there hasn't been much time to work on my Creole or French.  However, my translator is very motivated to teach me and keeps offering his regular services.  That's what I love about some of these people, they take a lot of pride in what they do know and willingly extend it to others no questions asked.  Haiti would become a different place if the mindset of all these people work within their community with this sort of attitude.

One story that is close to home.  Pastor Leon is taking a trip to Calgary and consequently he received a call from a singer from there who visited Cite Soleil last year.  He told Leon that he performs benefit concerts and that he would be interested in raising money for Leon's mission here at HOM.  Leon was thrilled at this prospect but he just never heard back from this guy.  Well the singer just happened to call Leon the other day and said he'd be performing this Wednesday night in Edmonton, so Leon and his wife will be able to attend the concert while they are in Alberta!

I was getting the feeling that we would know who this person was once he told us his name, even though to Leon, this singer was just a regular dude with a guitar.  Well it turns out its Paul Brandt, so we told Leon he's very well known and always is doing amazing things for ministries like his.  Really awesome that this is in the works and I'm going to track down the details so that you Edmontonians could maybe attend!

Thanks everyone for keeping in touch as well.  We really have felt loved during our first 3 weeks here and part of that is the great communication from home!  Our love goes out to you all and we really hope you will stay in touch :)

The Broken City

Yesterday we took a trip to downtown Port au Prince, which was hit the hardest in the earthquake.  The sights overwhelmed me by the end - so much devastation.  Picture this: beautiful old buildings, 3-4 storeys high, with old & unique architecture, lining the streets.  The envision these buildings missing large parts of walls, sloped, falling, rubble at the bases of the buildings, beams exposed, large pieces of concrete hanging from the floor above it; in some cases the buildings look as though they could fall in the next major wind.  Directly under the awning of each building sits person after person, selling their product - a tiny selection of shoes, fruit, gum, purses, clothes, paintings...anything they can really....and their are thousands of these people in front and almost under each destroyed building.  And then, of coarse to finish the scene, thousands of people on the street buying items, sacs on top of heads, tap-tap’s, loaded with people, all attempting to be the first to get through the chaos... and motorcycles carrying anything that it can have near miss after near miss while weaving in and out of traffic.  During this, what appears to be a mess of traffic, each vehicle is laying on the horn to speed pass the next vehicle.  Riding in the back of a tap-tap is also a unique experience, as the passengers get to look out the back of the truck bed at all the passing sights, a breeze making it’s way through to each person - this breeze also filled with dust and emissions from every vehicle that passes.  By the end of the trip, this also became overwhelming to me.  I was craving the smell of fresh air, but as soon as we left the city core, the smell of burning garbage and polluted stagnant water filled the air instead; and even back at the base we still could not escape the smoke from the garbage.

When you are immersed in the middle of this devastating, and seemingly hopeless situation, it is hard to see past it all.  How can things change?  Where do you begin when EVERY building needs to be re-built?  When EVERY previously green space is inhabited with tent after tent - people’s new homes?

Once back in the quiet of the complex I began to remember the reason we came: it was for the children.  To help equip and change a new generation.  WIthout Jeremy here, there would be 100-120 adults without an English teacher, and English is the new hope.  If we can help stimulate the children to dream and discover new things and want change, then that is the beginning of the future to come.

Field of Crosses

On Saturday, we had the privilege of stopping on the side of the road at a mass grave where bodies used to lie after the earthquake, now marked by fallen crosses.  On that same highway, a new community of people who had scattered to the side of a mountain to start a new life after the earthquake - Pastor Leon calls this community “New Jerusalem”.  In most places you go there are reminders of the earthquake; yet, it will take still a very long time before things are “cleaned up”....