Uncomfortable Comfort

Stacey and I have been trying to rise very early in the morning and spend devotional time while the sun is just rising.  Stacey also stretches and works out, I'm not that spiritual though.  I have been able to journal for almost 2 months now, a personal record!  That's my excuse for not blogging enough.  Instead of creating an entirely new blog, I just thought I'd share some thoughts from a few days ago, amidst one of my most sleepless stretches in memory.

1 Thessalonians 1:2-10 (bits and pieces) "For we know, brothers loved by God, that He has chosen you, because our Gospel came to you not simply with words, but also with power, with the Holy Spirit and deep conviction.  You know how he lived among you for your sake."

This passage was really encouraging to me, especially after another sleepless night, full of questions, wonderings, noise and itchiness.  We're here in Haiti, but why are we here?  Feeling tired of beans and rice (or rice and beans), loud music at inopportune times, sometimes the people we work with that don't share our Canadian way of doing things.  And bugs.  The initial settling in process is over and the fairytale of short-term missions leaves after 6 weeks I'd say.  Its no longer a carefree, sometimes cushy environment.  Sometimes it feels downright uncomfortable!

For myself, I've always testified that I can make it through one sleepless night, as long as I have a chance to make it up the next.  And to my knowledge, I think this has always happened, just like I plan.  Well, its been a flat-out tough stretch for me in regards to sleep, much more than just 1 bad night at a time.  It makes me question WHY a lot more when these problems arise.  Why would we leave modern appliances or grocery stores?  Or sleep on two twin beds, neither of which we are the first to slumber in? Why are you allowed to make noise all night long and keep me awake?

I could go on and probably sound very ungrateful and confused as to what we're really doing while serving here.  But the truth is I'm happy, even in the midst of this sudden bout of insomnia.  God has miraculously given my soul and body complete rest, even though I swear I didn't sleep a wink a few nights.  I've had the energy to teach all day.  I don't need to sneak in a nap.  I can't go to bed because I'd rather read.

I would be miserable if I was home right now.  Not only because that would mean I forsook a great opportunity to go and serve abroad but it would've been a blatant disregard of the Holy Spirit's prompting in our lives, something we've tried to listen closely to in terms of missions.  If we hadn't have left I'm sure we would have paid dearly for it.  I'm fully understanding that God opens up opportunities and its our choice whether we take Him up on the offer.

It appears that some will give up a lot and some will give up a little, but when God gives you a choice and you obey, you've given all that He has asked of you.  Somedays, it feels like it's been a real sacrifice, but its just what we've been created to do.  We've been equipped to handle all that we've encountered and it gives us great hope to continue the good week we've started.  We're right where God called us to be, a place He mapped out for us long, long ago, and because He's called us, its extremely comforting, despite what we may deem from time to time as uncomfortable.